First Date Politics

We had first met a week earlier, at a leaving party for a mutual friend. We hit it off reasonably well and exchanged numbers, agreeing to meet for drinks.

"I'm not going to kiss you" she said. Two minutes earlier we had been talking about tapas. The only thing we had discussed passing our lips was the chorizo on the specials board.

"Really... Why do you say that?" I asked "Because then I'd end up sleeping with you" she said. "Is that the new rule? Kiss someone and you have to sleep with them?" I said. She laughed and poured out the remainder of the bottle of rose. "I just thought I'd put it out there" she said. "Look, a kiss is a kiss" I said, "and it doesn't have to be followed by anything ok, so let’s just chill and enjoy the Rose”. I raised my glass “Cheers”

Five minutes later we were kissing. "I thought you didn't want to kiss me". "I didn’t but I liked what you said". With that she got up and walked to the ladies room, leaving me scratching my head, trying to remember what I’d said – if ever there was a time to write something down etc.

I was finishing my drink as she came back. “Let’s go somewhere else.” she said, finishing her drink. It was only after we had left that we saw the time. It was gone 01:30 and any of the bars nearby would be closing shortly. “Do you have anything to drink at your place?” she said “Yep, wine, gin, take your pick” I said, as I hailed a black cab.

Once in my flat I opened a bottle of Rioja left over from Christmas. I was pouring the glasses in the kitchen when she joined me and kissed me. We started drinking the wine and 5 minutes later we were in bed. So far so wet you might say.

We kissed as she lay on top of me, naked as the day she was born as our legs entwined and then...

Her – I can’t do this

Me – I’m sorry?

Her – No, I can’t do this

She pulled away and paused, and then moved on top of me again, kissing me as her hand reached down to discover how happy she had made me.

Me – Are you sure, because it doesn’t really feel like you can’t from here... or there (as she continued stroking mini me with her fingers)

Her – Well I shouldn’t. .. Oh but I could so easily have sex with you now.

Me – Knock yourself out

We kissed again, our bodies a tangled collection of limbs as we moved under the duvet. The momentum was building, our hands searching each other as she broke the kiss again.

Her – No I can’t. I don’t like sleeping on the first date.

Me – So stay awake.

Her – I shouldn’t.

Me – But we’re here now and this feels great, and we’ve had a lovely evening, so why not just relax and enjoy it.

She kissed me again before saying “ I can’t, but I’d love to”. And with that, she rolled off me.

“That’s fucking outrageous!” said G when I told her the next day. “It’s women like that that give the rest of us a bad name, you should have called her a cab and told her to leave”. A girlfriend of G’s was with us (we’ll call her G2). She said “You know what you did wrong don’t you? You should have gone downstairs and teased her, she obviously just needed coaxing.”

And herein lies the problem for us guys. We are forever being told that a girl has a right to say no whenever she chooses – period! Surely though if a woman wants to say no, then it should really be before she undresses and starts playing with the old chap. What’s a guy to do - should he leave well alone if she’s in two minds, or as G2 said, to go downstairs and wait until the volume changes?

On the night in question we slept on opposite sides of the bed. She caught the tube home in the morning. I agreed with G however and probably should have called her a cab. It’s not always easy though. When you’re pitching a tent under the duvet, the last thing on your mind are taxis.