Music

People around me are tapping their feet or banging their knees whilst wearing over sized headphones that seem to cover half of their heads. I'm lying here on Power Beach - not very Thai sounding I grant you, but apparently that's what it's called - probably by some oiky property developer from Dagenham.

I knew that the holiday packing seemed to go just a bit too smoothly. Well I forgot something. I forgot my ipod and now that I don't have it, I want it more than ever. I feel like an addict in need of a hit and I even want to borrow someone else's. That's a bit ridiculous though of course, I say to myself. Why would anyone want to lend a stranger their ipod - I know I wouldn't. That said of course, even if I did let a stranger borrow it, I'd be certain to get it handed straight back to me in disgust before you can say 'Apple'.

You see, I have no music taste - that is nothing which could be called new or cool. I haven't a clue about the current music scene and pay no attention whatsoever to lyrics of any kind. I can usually bluff my way in a group discussion on the subject, by mentioning the name of something I've heard on the radio whilst tuning between stations. Occasionally though I get found out.

A couple of years ago I went to the Reading festival with my friend S. So far so cool you may think, and some people did. In reality though, all I wanted was an escape. I had just split with A and moved out of the flat we shared. I was miserable and living in a strange place and needed a break - something, anything to take my mind off recent events in London. So when I was asked if I was interested in a spare ticket, I was like a child snatching free sweets and couldn't grab it fast enough.

I hardly knew any of the bands at the festival. Kate Nash, The Klaxons, Razorlight - who the fuck were they? S would say to me "Oh you must recognise this song". Nope, haven't a clue, I'd think, before saying "Oh yeah I think I know it". She knew though and called me on it, much to my embarrassment.

S - You know when I asked you if you recognised that song earlier and you said yes?

Me - Yeah?

S - Did you really know ir?

Me - Er, No, sorry

S - Thought so

We went to the tent where the Klaxons were playing. We'd been there for about ten minutes when a small boy of about 12 tugged me on the arm. "Have they played Sheila yet" he asked. At least I think that's what he asked. But how the hell should I know, I wanted to say. I should have just lied - he'd have known no different. Instead I hesitated, only to have S lean across me and in motherly fashion, reassure him that "No, don't worry, they haven't played Sheila yet". Only then to look at me despairingly as I returned a sheepish grin.

All of which has made me realise that I don't want to borrow an ipod after all. What would be the point - I wouldn't have a clue what I'm listening to anyway.

Bangkok Swimming Pool

I'm on holiday - Thailand to be more specific and for 3 whole weeks. Well it's sort of a late summer holiday really, but I thought I'd give you all a brief update on the first day here, seeing as I won't be home for nearly another two weeks.

It normally takes me a few days to relax when going on holiday. The trials and tribulations of London living refuse to escape me and it's usually an effort to let go. I decided that the first day will be one of doing nothing - that is nothing but to try and relax, read, plan where to go next and generally soak up a lot of what was missing from my life for most of last year - sunshine!

Luckily, the hotel where I stayed for the first couple of nights, in Bangkok had a swimming pool on it's roof. After a lazy lie in, following my flight, and a proper breakfast, I made my way up to the roof terrace. There was only one sun lounger left, which I hastily claimed. The view over Bangkok is spectacular, a mixture of temples and tall modern skyscrapers, which rise above the smog (which explains why I saw so many people wearing surgical face masks), congestion, smell and general hubbub of the tut tuts, taxis and street eateries.

I've been to Thailand once before and one thing I noticed this time were the fewer number of single travellers. In fact around the pool, I noticed that everyone was in couples. Well they might just have been travel buddies for all I know, but my paranoia was telling me on first sight that they were loved up couples. That said however, three of the couples were caucasian men with Thai girls, and so probably more of a business deal, I told myself. I was drifting between writing, reading and working out what I want to do in the next few days, just as the couple on the lounger to my right started kissing. She looked like Natalie Portman. He looked like the milky bar kid on the atkins - go figure!?

Oh God, there must be some other single people around here, I thought as I reapplied the factor 35. Just then 3 large guys walked up on to the terrace wearing football shirts and spotless white addidas trainers. I looked up at the sky, that's not exactly what I had in mind, but thanks for trying, I muttered to myself.

Guys - (loudly, in scouse accents) "Does anyone know where da game's playin tonight?"

I spotted the TV in the corner. What fucking game, and why would you want to disturb my peaceful attempt at relaxation?

Me - "I think the bar next door is showing it"

Guys - "Cheers mate"

They walked off in search of the bar next door. Milky looked over to me. "Sorry mate, which bar is playing the game?" I looked at him with a half grin and in lowered tone, said "No idea mate".

Natalie Portman giggled as I went back to my book, feeling slightly more relaxed than I did ten minutes earlier.