Mr Nice Guy - Part 4

I’m having lunch with my dear friend A, with whom I go back years. We haven’t seen each other for a little while and so this is part of a catch up before we go on to meet mutual friends later.

“So how’s the book coming along – am I in it?” she asks with an ‘I’d better not be’ look on her face. I smile a half smile. “It’s still in the planning stages at the moment. There maybe a version of you in it, or someone loosely based on you anyway.” “Hmmm...” she says with her eyes narrowed. “So what did you think of the latest blogs?” I ask.

“Honestly?” She asks “Of course” I say. ‘Ah - she didn’t like them’ I think.”They were cool, and funny dating blogs. I agree with G2 that you’re too nice, but I think the blogs missed the reason why you are too nice.” At this point, my phone rings. It’s a female friend who has recently split from her boyfriend and is a bit down and wants to talk. “Hi.. yes, ok, listen can I call you back, I’m with a friend right now”.

“Who was that?” she asks. “Oh that was just C. She split up with some accountant a couple of weeks back and is a bit down.” She looks at me knowingly and shakes her head. “That’s what was missing from your blog and is the reason that you’re too nice.” “What?” I say defensively. She continues “When was the last time C phoned you to see how you are, or to say let’s have a catch up?” I want to say two weeks ago, or was it four... “Er..” “And what about the SA – when did she last call you?” I know the answer to this one “A couple of months ago. She wanted to say hi after...” “..after some guy broke her heart wasn’t it? And have you heard from her since you fluffed her little ego?” “Well er..” “And when was the last time that your mate P ever put himself out for you?” I’m feeling slightly under attack. However, as she continues, it starts to dawn on me that she might just have a point.

She explains “When I first moved into London, the people I hung out with then weren’t the same people I spend my time with now. Over the last nine or so years, I’ve kind of weeded my social garden and the friends I spend time with are the ones who have earned the right to be in my life – that includes you by the way” she says, pointing a spoon in my direction after stirring her tea. I smile at the corner of my mouth as I sip my coffee. She takes one of my hands in hers as she looks at me in earnest “You’re a lovely wonderful guy honey, but you have too many people in your life who are undeserving of your time.” I concede to her that she may have a point. “Don’t get me wrong” she says “I’m not saying ditch them, not entirely anyway, but just be more aware of who you invest your time in. That’s all I’m saying”

She gets up to go to the ladies, leaving me to contemplate what she has said. A part of me wants to protest and tell her that she’s wrong – that she doesn’t know some of the people in my life quite like I do. But I have to be honest with myself and as I sip my coffee and gaze out of the window at nothing, I know she is right.

I take my phone out and scroll down the contacts until I reach someone who has sprung to mind. I look at the contact details as I reflect on the friendship and contemplate the one sided nature that it has become. My thumb hovers over the delete icon. ‘Sod it’ I think as I hit ‘Delete Contact’. My phone isn’t happy with this decision however. ‘Are You Sure You Want To Delete Contact?’ ‘Hmm.. am I sure?’ I gaze out of the window and ponder. ‘Yes, sod it – time to look out for one’s self a bit more’ I confirm the decision and the phone advises ‘Contact Deleted’.

At that moment, A walks back from the ladies “What are you doing?” she asks as I put my phone away. I pick up my coffee and look at her resignedly “Gardening”.