Birthday Deadline - Part 2

I walk out of the shoe shop and head to Regent Street checking my watch as i go - it's 1:15. I keep reminding myself that in order to get to Hertfordshire on time, I will need to have left my flat by 5pm. On my Christmas shopping list are clothes for family members and books. The crowds in Regent Street seem to be slightly prettier than in Oxford Street for some reason, although no less busy. Tourists seem to be the mainstay of the hold up as they stop to look at the Hamley's window display, holding everyone else up in the process. Elsewhere, more tourists (well they could be from North London for all I know) huddle together in the cold air and point to the Christmas lights. Oh come on, you've seen Christmas lights before, I think as I try to get through.

I spot a branch of Banana Republic and duck in to avoid the crowds. I'm thinking, It's my birthday and so why not see if there's anything here I like, as a saunter around the mens section. I end up trying on and choosing two t shirts and sweater, just as I receive a call from my friend J. He is local and wants to buy me a birthday lunch. Great, I say, as I make my way to go and pay. The queue for the checkout seems to be longer than the queue outside Hamleys, made worse because everyone seems to want their purchases gift wrapped. I check the time - 2:15. I get to the front of the queue. The sales assistant looks miserable and plainly wants to be somewhere else.

Sales Assistant - Would you like it gift wrapped?

Me - Nope, this is an entirely selfish purchase as it's my birthday.

Sales Assistant - Good for you!

Me - I know, thank you.

I meet J for lunch. We talk about the morning so far, bemoaning the fact that everyone else has left their shopping to the last minute and filling up the pavements in the process. I check the time. It's 3:15. I'm really going to have to get a move on if I'm going to leave London by 5pm.

Next stop Waterstones on Piccadilly. This is one of my favourite shops in London. It is the largest bookshop in Europe and stretches over 5 floors. At the top there is a chic little cafe bar which is great for a rendezvous.

I get carried away with myself and start reading a copy of Table Talk, by AA Gill, before eventually buying it along with the Christmas presents. As I queue at the checkout I notice a man reading a copy of Yachting Monthly, who looks like he's just stepped off his own boat - complete with thick Gortex jacket, thick woolly hat, beard and leathery face - although he may just like a drink..

I've taken too long. I check my watch - it's 4pm! I'm looking for a clothes shop, the name of which I cannot remember. I pop into Boots and walk up to the perfume counter.

Sales Assistant - Hello, is there anything in particular you are looking for?

Me - Directions actually. I'm looking for a clothes shop around here but can't really remember the name. I think it's called West something or North something.

Sales Assistant - (Calls out to colleague across the shop) Sally, do you know of a shop called West something or North something?

Sally - Eh? West something or North something? Naaa.

Sales Assistant - (looks back at me) she says naaa.

Me - (Remembering the name) All Saints, that's the place!

Sales Assistant - Try Debenhams.

My phone rings. It's a family member "Have you left yet, you should have left by now". "I'm leaving shortly" I say. Too long spent buying clothing items results in a rush as I hurl myself down Oxford Street to the nearest station. I run in and out of the road armed with Christmas presents and dodging pedestrians. I finally reach Oxford Street Tube, sweating from my run, and check my watch - it's 5:15.